If you think this is a boring blog entry, you should watch the CBC “news” channel

Here comes a quick and easy dissecting of the state-owned CBC’s grating, cringe-inducing, boring news reporting that is CBC News Network, which I do for “investigative” purposes, as I am the “senior investigative reporter” for PTBC.  I do this strictly for the benefit of over-taxed taxpayers who are paying for this state-owned junk media, and to serve as an object lesson in how not to run any news channel.

The following occurred at around 8 AM this morning, my prime news-gathering time, which, if I were to stick with the CBC, would end up being my prime waste of time.

The first topic is excruciatingly boring for me.  It’s about Canadian book awards and more prizes in the form of shiny trinkets for writers.  I love books, I own some, books are my friends.  But this is no news.  This non-story about more folks in the entertainment industry lobbing awards on themselves is not worthy of my precious time.  Even the in-studio reporter dispatched to do her big investigative piece acknowledges this is but the third set of “literary awards” in Canada in just the past month or two.

So boring is a big part of the mathematical equation.  Then there’s this sort of thing:

(CBC Reporter) Deana Sumanak— “There are 14 categories so that amounts to I think $260,000 altogether.”

(CBC anchor) Suhana Meharchand—  “No it can’t be 260.  Cause it’s 25,000 right? ekay so it would be 175,000 if there are, wool we’ll do the math and get back to you okay?  This is why I’m a journalist!”

[Adding as an afterthought,] “That’s a terrible thing to say.”

Suhana Meharchand—  “OK let’s tackle this again.  There are how many prizes?  Seventeen right?”

Deana Sumanak—  “No there’s fourteen prizes— 25000 each.”

Suhana Meharchand— “Fourteen prizes … so that would be [dramatically] three hundred … and … fifty … thousand … dolllllars!!” [and begins uproarious laughter, even though it’s not remotely funny]

Deana Sumanak— “No, much more than 250… this is why [inaudible over Meharchand’s uproarious laughter]… I dropped math in grade ten…”

As so often happens when Meharchand says something she thinks is funny, she follows it up with excessively uproarious, uncomfortably prolonged laughter.  Cringe-inducing. Sure to win a prize of some sort.  Perhaps a Juno.  Or a Gemini.  Or a Governor General’s award.

And then soon after, onto another report which could only be described as an advocacy report, apparently done solely because a food bank advocacy group had a big news conference about the need for more federal government cash and support to feed people food.  Canadians on their own can’t do it.  The government is, once again, being called on to do it, see?  The news story is put forward as a lament about how food banks all across the entire country are seeing a massive increase in patronage this year, complete with the reporter informing us, “…We’re supposed to be in an economic recovery!  But some people are asking who’s this economic recovery benefiting if more and more people are going hungry?! … ‘Some people’ … are calling on the federal government to do something!…”.  The story was covered “live” from the scene of a food bank. 

And then soon after that, it’s the national weather report.  Again. This is the epitome of boring and useless information for me.  I’d rather listen to a Soviet-style farm report, because it was funny hearing the state media blaming the poor growing season — the 75th in a row — for the failure of their economy under socialist rule.  The CBC weather report is often done over a grating, thumping, Euro-disco beat, in the background.  I think this is supposed to keep us awake. 

And then a real big story — “a CBC investigation” no less, from the CBC’s “senior investigative reporter” — about how “white collar crime” isn’t being tackled well enough in this country, which they report over the chiron “FAILING ON FRAUD”.  The words “FAILING ON FRAUD” appear on the screen right after anchor Meharchand introduces the story by informing us that “the federal government says dealing with white collar crime is one of its priorities, but…”.  The reporter resolves her big “investigation” by informing us that it comes down to the need for more money from the federal government (not taxpayers, strangely) for still more “Crown” lawyers and judges and court time, even though they (the Conservative government) promised to get tough on crime! 

Then the literary awards story again.

Nothing about the excessive taxation in this country due to humongous government and its enormous cost to taxpayers, from the state-owned media today.

And so of course it’s over to Fox News Channel where I can get some actual news and information, and stay awake.

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